The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Artist:Bloodhound Gang
Album:Hooray For Boobies
Title: The Ballad Of Chasey Lain

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey LainI wrote to complainYa never wrote me backHow could I ever eatYour ass when ya treatYour biggest fan like that?You've had a lotta dickHad a lotta dickI've had a lotta timeHad a lotta timeYou've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine


Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine

P.S.Mom and Dad this is Chasey,Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show ‘em them titties
Now show ‘em them titties

P.S.Mom and Dad this is ChaseyChasey this is my mom and dad
Now show ‘em them titties
Now show ‘em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?

King Sized

I have been told.... on more than one occasion.... that I remind people of an unmade bed.... Messy, warm, and inviting. That is perhaps the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.

Skills

Napoleon:Well, nobody's gonna go out with me.

Pedro:Have you asked anybody yet?

Napoleon:No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.

Pedro:What do you mean?

Napoleon:You know, like numchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Well guess what....
I GOT SKILLS BABY!

"Detachable Penis" by King Missle

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time. Its detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.

I can leave it home, when I think its gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I dont need it.

But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I cant for the life of me remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldnt find it.

So I called up the place where the party was, they hadnt seen it either.

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes but not this time.

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate. I really dont like being without my penis for too long.

It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Marks Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.

I was happy again.

Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I dont know.

Even though sometimes its a pain in the ass,

I like having a detachable penis.