My new favorite song

She and Mr Jones - Uncensored
Lords of Acid

Hey motherfucker, are you jerking off again
You horny little bastard can't do anything right
You can't fuck, you can't suck, let me beat that dick
You see, you gotta do it faster, faster, faster, faster

Hey, baby make me wet. Please tie me to your bed
Whip my body, make me sweat, whip my body make me sweat
Hey baby make me wet

Suck me loud and suck me long, baby's gonna make me come
Make me scream and make me shout, let your tongue go in and out
On the table, on the floor, baby make me beg for more
On the backseat of the car, baby's gonna drive me far

Hey baby make me wet............

Eat that pussy, chew it up. Come on baby make me drop
From the bed onto the floor, give me what I'm asking for
Jump my body through the night, baby takes me for a ride
Put me on your burning spear, drink my juices like a beer

Give me all the fun you got, do it 'cause I'm sweet and hot
Fuck me like I know you can baby show me you're a man
Lick me up and try me down, fingers going round and round
Carress my boobs and lick my feet baby take away the heat

Hey baby make me wet

Why Rugby is like sex.

Rugby is just like sex because....... 15 positions, 80 minutes, and limited substitutions.

Why women are like rugby pitches

1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, thus varying the quality of the play.
2. Pitches vary from the well-grassed to the completely bald.
3. Remember it is possible to score at both ends, but one end per 40 minutes is favourable.
4. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with ground owner.
5. Be careful, as after a few pints a pitch appears to be of Premiership standard but in reality would not even be eligible as a city dump.
6. Only some grounds offer seven-a-side facilities.
7. Don't ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also,never mention pitches previously visited.
8. Extra time is dependent on subsequent pitch bookings.
9. From time-to-time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbent fullback.
10. When building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the back.
11. Wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles.
12. Always tread carefully when leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel.
13. Russian grounds are frequently very grassy..
14. It is illegal to play on small, unturfed pitches.
And most important of all……
15. Always be on the look out for grounds that host ladies rugby two evenings a week

Play Time

The picture pretty much says it all, don't you think?

Saturday is a Rugby Day.

But on Sunday, I feel like Roadkill.

(and I don't mean for dinner)

Champs

Somehow...we are the division champions. An undefeated regualar season, so in the spring we get to travel for playoffs all that fun stuff.

Rugby groupies feel free to reserve your seats on the bus now.

GRRRRRRR!

I should have stayed on the couch!

Well...finally got my ass off the couch...and started doing something. Yesterday was my first rugby practice. I am twice as old as the rest of the team...but I'm also twice as big.....they tremble at my approach....and stand in awe in my wake. My blog, my lies.

Why?

Today.....my friend "H" tried to kill herself with an overdose of pills. She suffers from cancer, an idiot husband, and low self esteem. I sit her, waiting to hear word from her half way across the country, and realize that eventually she will be gone. I want to believe there is something after, some where for her to go..... but I cannot fool myself. I want to believe in a God and a heaven, or re-incarnation, or even ghosts, so that when she is gone, there will be something left of her. But the fact is, when we die, thats it. It's over. There is no white light, no judgement, no reward and punishment. Life would be easier if I could swallow the lie of religion, but damn it..... I cannot delude myself. FUCK!

I'm back

Stonehenge rocked.....no pun intended.

My screwed up tattoo

This is the tattoo they screwed up.....Fuck!

I don't think I can take much more.......I just want it to end.

Well...turns out I am still screwed up.....I don't know what is wrong with me, but this is driving me insane. I will double my dosage in about a week....maybe that will help. As things stand now tho, this is my last entry. Take care.

I think....that things are finally starting to turn around for me. My emotions seem more in control, and I even allowed three drunk idiots to survive the other night at the Shock game (allthough the more I think about it, the more I regret that decision). I am even to the point were I can trust myself around people again. God I so hated feeling like that. To P....thank you for listening..... and to S....thank you for sticking it out, and thank you for your love. I'm not worth it....but I'm glad you did/do.

Break Time

I won't be on blogger again for a while....my life has take an unexpected turn for the worse..... and has become to painful to talk about. Maybe later...when things sort out, I'll try again. Maybe not. A good friend mentioned the other day... that when I say "maybe" it allways means "no". Anyway, wish me luck.

Sometimes I hate myself.

God, I wish I could just learn to keep my fucking mouth shut sometimes. I swear, I could screw up a wet dream. I need to find myself a new job...possibly as a hermit or trapper somewhere where people would be safe from my stupid bullshit. Maybe a lighthouse keeper. Or mortician.... that way everybody is allready depressed before they get to me. Fuck.

I was mean... I was horrible.... I was nasty and terrible.... and we laughed like kindergartners.... I had a wonderful time... and I teased her so bad.... but she has a sparkle when her back is up.... and she fights back... and can easily hold her own. She kicked me, punched me, and even hid cheese in my Jeep. God I love that woman.

I need

I need a rock to hide beneath
I need quiet
I need S

The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Artist:Bloodhound Gang
Album:Hooray For Boobies
Title: The Ballad Of Chasey Lain

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey LainI wrote to complainYa never wrote me backHow could I ever eatYour ass when ya treatYour biggest fan like that?You've had a lotta dickHad a lotta dickI've had a lotta timeHad a lotta timeYou've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine


Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine

P.S.Mom and Dad this is Chasey,Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show ‘em them titties
Now show ‘em them titties

P.S.Mom and Dad this is ChaseyChasey this is my mom and dad
Now show ‘em them titties
Now show ‘em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?