Play Time

The picture pretty much says it all, don't you think?

Saturday is a Rugby Day.

But on Sunday, I feel like Roadkill.

(and I don't mean for dinner)

Champs

Somehow...we are the division champions. An undefeated regualar season, so in the spring we get to travel for playoffs all that fun stuff.

Rugby groupies feel free to reserve your seats on the bus now.

GRRRRRRR!

I should have stayed on the couch!

Well...finally got my ass off the couch...and started doing something. Yesterday was my first rugby practice. I am twice as old as the rest of the team...but I'm also twice as big.....they tremble at my approach....and stand in awe in my wake. My blog, my lies.

Why?

Today.....my friend "H" tried to kill herself with an overdose of pills. She suffers from cancer, an idiot husband, and low self esteem. I sit her, waiting to hear word from her half way across the country, and realize that eventually she will be gone. I want to believe there is something after, some where for her to go..... but I cannot fool myself. I want to believe in a God and a heaven, or re-incarnation, or even ghosts, so that when she is gone, there will be something left of her. But the fact is, when we die, thats it. It's over. There is no white light, no judgement, no reward and punishment. Life would be easier if I could swallow the lie of religion, but damn it..... I cannot delude myself. FUCK!

I'm back

Stonehenge rocked.....no pun intended.

My screwed up tattoo

This is the tattoo they screwed up.....Fuck!

I don't think I can take much more.......I just want it to end.

Well...turns out I am still screwed up.....I don't know what is wrong with me, but this is driving me insane. I will double my dosage in about a week....maybe that will help. As things stand now tho, this is my last entry. Take care.

I think....that things are finally starting to turn around for me. My emotions seem more in control, and I even allowed three drunk idiots to survive the other night at the Shock game (allthough the more I think about it, the more I regret that decision). I am even to the point were I can trust myself around people again. God I so hated feeling like that. To P....thank you for listening..... and to S....thank you for sticking it out, and thank you for your love. I'm not worth it....but I'm glad you did/do.

Break Time

I won't be on blogger again for a while....my life has take an unexpected turn for the worse..... and has become to painful to talk about. Maybe later...when things sort out, I'll try again. Maybe not. A good friend mentioned the other day... that when I say "maybe" it allways means "no". Anyway, wish me luck.

Sometimes I hate myself.

God, I wish I could just learn to keep my fucking mouth shut sometimes. I swear, I could screw up a wet dream. I need to find myself a new job...possibly as a hermit or trapper somewhere where people would be safe from my stupid bullshit. Maybe a lighthouse keeper. Or mortician.... that way everybody is allready depressed before they get to me. Fuck.

I was mean... I was horrible.... I was nasty and terrible.... and we laughed like kindergartners.... I had a wonderful time... and I teased her so bad.... but she has a sparkle when her back is up.... and she fights back... and can easily hold her own. She kicked me, punched me, and even hid cheese in my Jeep. God I love that woman.

I need

I need a rock to hide beneath
I need quiet
I need S

The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Artist:Bloodhound Gang
Album:Hooray For Boobies
Title: The Ballad Of Chasey Lain

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey LainI wrote to complainYa never wrote me backHow could I ever eatYour ass when ya treatYour biggest fan like that?You've had a lotta dickHad a lotta dickI've had a lotta timeHad a lotta timeYou've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine


Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick ChaseyBut you ain't had mine

P.S.Mom and Dad this is Chasey,Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show ‘em them titties
Now show ‘em them titties

P.S.Mom and Dad this is ChaseyChasey this is my mom and dad
Now show ‘em them titties
Now show ‘em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?

King Sized

I have been told.... on more than one occasion.... that I remind people of an unmade bed.... Messy, warm, and inviting. That is perhaps the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.

Skills

Napoleon:Well, nobody's gonna go out with me.

Pedro:Have you asked anybody yet?

Napoleon:No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.

Pedro:What do you mean?

Napoleon:You know, like numchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Well guess what....
I GOT SKILLS BABY!

"Detachable Penis" by King Missle

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time. Its detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.

I can leave it home, when I think its gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I dont need it.

But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I cant for the life of me remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldnt find it.

So I called up the place where the party was, they hadnt seen it either.

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes but not this time.

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate. I really dont like being without my penis for too long.

It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Marks Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.

I was happy again.

Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I dont know.

Even though sometimes its a pain in the ass,

I like having a detachable penis.